Well let’s……

Lets talk about masculinity….

What defines us males as proper men? Is it the way we walk, speak, act or just because we have a dick?…

Me myself am a bit late to the party and have been told that I can come across as possessive, arrogant and self centred but under no circumstances have I or will I pass these on to my son’s or let my daughter think this is acceptable behaviour from the opposite sex… I know us MEN have to portray that we are supposed to be the MAN and always be the biggest one, i say fuck that we are living in a new world where everything is equal and should be in all aspects, but there is still a few lacking this, if i put on a suit and tie does that mean am a man of power or just a flush prick? Give me my slouchies and a t-shirt and am happy, the way we act and come across to other people shouldn’t be questioned should it? I don’t go to the gym or worry about having bigger muscles than the guy who works out 24/7 and spends all his time worrying about his image but i don’t judge him he’s doing what he loves so why should it be different for the ones that don’t?.

I also ain’t afraid to show how am feeling or how upset i am about something does that make me less of a man? How many times can you say you haven’t been crying just because your male and for heavens sake man pull yourself together if you had bad news would you hold it in or let it out? I hope not as I would always be a shoulder for my boys to lean on if they needed it or an ear to listen if they have any problems which am sure there will be a few they wouldn’t feel like they can share with there mum but I would tell them that I would have to discuss anything they felt they couldn’t say to mum, that I would as parenting is hard but working together is the main foundation…

Now as for our daughter I hope she grows up to be a strong independent young lady who takes no shit from any man and always stands her ground to be equal, as if our son’s stopped in the middle of the street to give us a cuddle would we take a minute to think of who’s watching? who’s going to see this? all whilst our son is standing there waiting on the man he looks up to responding to his needs and wants….Now take a minute if it was your daughter would you even consider those choices?? NOOOOO i very much doubt you did……..

I just hope this generation we are bringing up is far more better than the one we live in right now with no shame and treats everyone as equal no matter what the background, race, religion, sex, i hope they see the person for who they are and that’s enough, i wish for plenty laughter, less insecurities and embrace this beautiful thing we call life,

Until next time thanks folks

Darren xo


Happy New Year

So now that we have finished with 2018 we say hello to 2019, yup i for one am glad to see the back of that year, it wasn’t the best one we have had, and am sure it won’t be one that’s forgotten in a hurry….


So this year i am going to do more as a man, fiance and a father and hopefully by the end of it a better person as well, i know my health took a shit turn mid year but i can’t just put my life on hold and keep blaming that, yeah am still scared of the prospect of what could have been but fuck me, i’ve got so much sitting right in front of me to just dwell, so firstly let me thank each and everyone of yous for all the support last year and getting to know yous through this mad and crazy world of social media, it’s been an absolute blast.


We as a family and a couple already have a few things to look forward to this year ( kaiser chiefs and a family holiday) and a few not so much (our baby girl goes to nursery) but am sure with that will come much greater and better things on the horizon but for now let’s take a look back to how our year ended…..

well we had christmas shows and nativities and parties that all the kids seemed to enjoy but it sure as hell drained me by the end of it, we had a lovely christmas with all the family and kids together which they all enjoyed and were clearly spoilt as per usual but isn’t that what christmas is all about making sure the kids are happy and love every single minute of it, and spending time with the loved ones and being merry and over indulging in plenty of food and feeling it by this time of the year, and auld years night well that was just a normal day for us parents, as work and that was back to normal…

so we may only be in the first week of this new year and already it’s going to plan, we have been out and about and keeping the kids entertained this whole holiday has just been great, yeah it’s had it’s testing moments but we have got here and we are all set for the new term of nursery/school…. are you?

Have you set goals for this year?

What you most/least looking forward to?

Thanks again for reading and enjoy your new year folks i hope it has everything and more in it that you wished for ❤


Darren x


ladies & gents 

I would kill for the woman in my life, would you?


Image result for NO


I’m sure we have all heard by now the story this past week about the young woman who was asking for it due to what she was wearing and the culprit let off….

Me personally i have read and heard a lot on this, this past week and i can’t keep quiet anymore…

So i’m assuming this goes out to all the lowlife men & woman of this world who seem to think they can and will get away with anything, well am here to tell you that ain’t the case you can’t and you definitely shouldn’t.

Ladies & gents we are not all brought up the same way, some of us where brought up right, to respect people and there choices in life, NO matter what!! Others well they must have just been dragged up i suppose….

If i do anything right in my life it will be to teach my daughter that if she says NO to any man/woman they understand exactly what she means, and understands that there is evil out there and that not everyone is the same, but i will teach her how to respect others as well, and that she does have a say and a choice in any decision she makes in life, am not saying am perfect by no means, but i know what the word NO means!

But that choice isn’t just for my daughter it’s for every man/woman/boy/girl, as we all should be allowed to wear what we want, do what we want and go where we want without these predators taking advantage and thinking they can get away with it!!

Image result for no means no

I mean we ain’t living in the olden days no more people, we are in the 21st century and everyone has a voice and choice on how they want to live there lives, why should these individuals divine how we live, why should they leave tears and scars to people they just assumed they can touch or take what isn’t there’s to begin with!!

These individuals aren’t there to help piece back the brokenness of the life they have just destroyed, they are walking about thinking they have done nothing wrong because we were asking for it….

I just hope that the generation we are raising is a much better and safer one that we have now and they all understand what NO means……



Image result for no means no



so that’s the 1st full week done at school and nursery, well when i say full week i mean half days for the little big boy and full days for the little man,

it was a tad strange this week as i have been so used to having the 3 little ones running around and hanging of some sort of body part of mines for so long i just don’t think i was in the right mind set for our babies to go off on there next venture just yet, but i suppose from next week we should feel it a lot more, with it being full days all week for everyone, and look forward to the new projects, the new friends/old the pretty hectic social calendar and the dreaded homework starting again which by the way already has…… i mean aren’t they meant to break them in gently and that’s the reasons for those half days right……




the look of sheer excitement

well for the oldest they have had a blast and settled right in like they have never been away, but we didn’t have any concerns regarding them anyways as didn’t think them going back was going to have any issues anyhow, where as the little dudes they seem to have taken to nursery and school life like a duck does to water….

i was the worrier as i had to phone to make sure they had settled in and that there was no problems as in my head i expected a call at some point in the morning to say oh am sorry but they just aren’t settling at all, but oh how they liked to prove there folks wrong eh…


its quite manic for any family in the morning during the week as we get up get ready and get organised for the day ahead, returning to school and nursery this time around just got even more crazy as we have to get the oldest two to there school which is roughly 8/9 miles from home as we didn’t move them from school when we moved, as they had already settled and made there friends where as now we have Noah to get ready to go to the school which is about a mile up the road in the next town, which he gets the school transport from the the bus stop in our village, to begin with he wasn’t sure but i reckon since his cousin who stays in the village and a few of his friends that hes made due to his brothers hes been okay, then there is Rory who has been giving a full time slot in nursery at the school about 5 miles from home were his big brother went last term, and has to be there all at the same time, but somehow we manage and to be honest its not like its going to be like this forever is it?……

and that folks is just the getting to school….

its not somewhat going to be as easy for getting them home as i/we have to be in 3 different places at the same time, well 2 to be fair as Noah would just go with his cousin until i/we got home, we shall see how this pans out next week when the full days are in full flow for the boys, but knowing us it will all be a walk in the park and have nothing to worry about right?…..or is there something going to go tits up and we are going to be the worst parents ever?…………. nope i very much doubt that will be the case as everyone who knows us know that our kids are everything to us and will always be there for them no matter what, we as parents we do the best we can to make sure our child/children get the best opportunities to have a good education and do what needs to be done to fill that for them, if that means they are happy surely that counts for something…….

until next time

thank you

Darren xo

Let’s talk bedtime routines

Hi again folks and welcome back,

How does your bedtime routine work for you? Does it work? Are you happy with the way it goes? What would you do to change it?

Well these are just a few of the things I have been asked and yous probably have aswell, but it’s difficult to stick to a proper routine especially in holidays and on a holiday, and dependable on home circumstances, I for one try to stick to a routine when it’s just me lone parenting at bed times (yeah am the tough one) as I know if I get them down between 7pm and 8.30pm I get at least 2 hours to myself to just chill and recharge, which most of us take for granted but in that time I can have a relaxing bath a shower and even have one ran for the Mrs getting home from a long day at work, and if I haven’t eating then that’s my tea time, I would normally take the two little ones up to bed get them settled and leave the older ones to watch a film in there beds and they would just fall themselves, it’s difficult as every routine is different and especially from birth as that changes all the time, but under no way think your doing it wrong or something isn’t right it just depends on what suits yous, this is just my routine!

Yes it works but the only time I feel it harder is when say the little ones have a nap after 2pm which I try and cut out now and find things to do with them, keeps them awake and happy and refreshed away from the actual feeling of wanting a nap, as I know if they were to have one after this time it makes it more difficult to stick to the bedtime routine, as they aren’t sleepy or tired they are full of energy,

In a few weeks I expect it to change again when there’s only going to be our daughter left at home since the schools are back and the little man goes to nursery I don’t know what to expect but am hoping that the days had at school and nursery will have been so exciting that they only want to tell us about it and feel more excited that they don’t have the time to danger nap and least that way the weekends will then be our fundays,

If I could do anything to change it…..nope nothing as it works for us most of the time and that considered I know our kids are happy and go to bed happy with what they have done that day of they weren’t I’d hope they would say but goodnight I love you I will take that every night…

Hope yous enjoyed and if you have anything you would like to discuss you know what to do and feel free to let me know about your routines if you have any…


Darren x

What came next

Hi folks just little old me again


It’s been a little while since I’ve wrote anything on here as I’ve been getting myself back to normality after what had happened,

So here’s a little update for yous I’ve been keeping myself busy with the kids these last few weeks and obviously getting myself back up to how I should be feeling, the help and support network I have has been brilliant and if I didn’t have it I think I would still be dwelling on what could have been, anyways enough on that!

The kids have been enjoying the summer holidays and going on some little adventures and making new memories and helping with our new venture which is a football session for anyone in the village that wants to take part in keeping fit, learning the skills, showing what you have and best of all getting outdoors,






As a lot of us parents know it’s technology that takes over our kids lives usually so we wanted to do this so we can break the norm and at least get out and have fun and learn for a few hours a couple days a week, so that’s what we’re doing and me personally am looking forward to it so much as it was my biggest passion when I was younger and still is to be honest, but I still get quality dad time with the kids as well as sharing with others, and it keeps my mind preoccupied which also helps me, we still have a good few weeks of the holidays left and still plenty time to squeeze in alot more am just no sure am ready for them to be over, as I will lose another one of my sidekicks as our baby boy starts nursery, I mean cmon how’s that happen so quickly, so will just be our little princess left at home,



But am sure she will fill our days with glitz and glamour and anything else she would like to do, but that’s for another day,

So as you can see rehabilitation is going well and filling our days with lots of fun and happiness and everything in-between but I still am truly greatful for everything and always will be but the best part of my rehabilitation is being around everyone of these little ones everyday, and seeing them reach for the stars in everything they do, don’t ever let a dark day cloud your life just open it and let it shine bright and never take anything for granted, until next time


Thank you everyone for all the support and love


Darren x

A day that changed my life!

I will never take another minute for granted…..

Four weeks ago was a normal day with the kids, enjoying our daily doings and spending time with the family and watching on as the kids made more happy memories, that was until the wind got knocked right out of me boom just like I was on my knees gasping for breath and my head felt like it had just exploded, whilst all the time our brave little boy was standing beside me in our livingroom trying to understand what had just happened to his daddy, he did however manage to get his mummy on the phone and get daddy the help he needed…..

At this point I didn’t even know what help I needed I just knew something wasn’t right and just like that I was having paramedics asking questions, taking my obs and putting me in the back of an ambulance, I’ll tell you this for sure I am grateful and will never take help for granted ever again, I had severe shakes from being hot and cold, tightnings in my chest and a headache that felt it had just been used as Mike Tyson’s sparring partner, if I hadn’t went to the hospital and stayed where I was like i wanted to but as per the Mrs always makes me see sence i would never have known what I was greeted with eventually.. as I arrived in the busy a&e department at our local hospital, no one seemed to know what was wrong with me and I can’t imagine how my Mrs was feeling with no one giving us any answers, so more tests a few scans one of my chest and one of my head and then boom you have had a bleed in your brain so now we need to do more tests and they didn’t help so transferred to the capital as they have neurologist that are trained to deal with the care I needed…

I underwent a lumber pucture and a diagnostic angiogram to still reveal no source of where the bleed had even came from, I was attached to drips popping pills and told to drink at least 3ltrs of fluids per day, I felt drained physically and mentally but still knew I had to be strong for my Mrs and the kids, the only time I didn’t/don’t is when am on my own as I started noticing afterwards as my speech became stuttery, my balance became shakey and my ability to cope being in social situations became difficult…

So now I am on a pacing order but as you all know with kids that ain’t possible as you can’t do little often, you can’t rest during the day, and you just have to do what you can to make sure you make it through that day knowing they have smiles and memories to sleep on….

I still have no idea how this happened to me or why, I am however grateful for my life and the fact I get to spend everyday with my loved ones, and will always take each day with both hands, I have a lengthy spell of rehabilitation still to come apparently but I have accepted all the help and advice that’s been giving to me as I plan on being the person that my family needs, so now no matter what I will always say when am not well and I will always ask for help when needed…..

Thanks for reading

Till next time…..

Darren x

No advice/No steps

Hi again folks,

Someone once told me that when you leave school your life just flys in especially when you throw children into the mix… but when your a teenager you think the adults in your life are just saying stuff to scare you into thinking these mad and wild thoughts, but omg how right where they….

Blink and you miss it, I am greatful for many things in my life but my children are the greatest and precious thing ever, Someone asked me not so long ago what if any is the best advice you can give for being a stay at home dad, well to be honest there isn’t ANY, I have a great support network at home maily the other half and being round the kids daily is never the same from one day to the next, I could have a house full of children and don’t know how I don’t fall over as apparently iam so laid back it’s unreal, but sorry it is real and I wouldn’t and couldn’t change it for anything, I get to see them and be with them from there eyes opening in the morning till there eyes are closing at bed time….

I used to wish I was more like some other dads at times and be able to go here there and everywhere, but then I get to enjoy what my kids want to do instead of them putting up with my daily choices which might not be what they want to do, so I listen and ask them as they are all at different ages it has to have compromises but then they are usually happy with what they choose to do, I think my biggest downfall is scheduling anything in that puts me out of sorts as I try to keep a routine but times it’s difficult and I need to learn to just go with the flow at times, your children have one life so make sure they live it to there full potential and enjoy every single moment of it….

Basically there is nothing I can say to anyone who is thinking of being a stay at home dad as there is no steps, no tips no tricks all there is is you the MAN, THE PARTNER, THE HUSBAND, THE FATHER just be yourself and let the kids learn from the things you do and make your own memories and stay true to yourself as time does go by so quickly you just never know what’s around the corner…..

Until next time enjoy

Darren x

Anxiety shopping

Shopping with the little ones is becoming a nightmare just now, gone are the days that we actually looked forward to going out for the day and coming home when we felt our feet and body couldn’t take anymore…

I know as a parent we expect these things but for some unknown reason it infuriates me, not the Mrs just me, I feel that there is no talking to the boys when we go out and all they want to do is run off, touch stuff and throw themselves about, making a scene and then you get the looks for passerbys, shit he needs to get his children under control, the thing is they are….I know when I was younger I hated going shopping with the parents unless there was something in it for me, but hey didn’t we all..

My biggest worry about being out is the fact that over a year ago our son wondered off with complete strangers and if it wasn’t for his mummy who knows what the outcome would have been, i dread to think about it but every time since I always need to know where he is and want him next to us at all times and if that causes world war three in the aisle of a shop or in the packed shopping centre then so be it, I know we’re my son is…..

But it has to get better though and more enjoyable surely but without the fear of anything happening to your child when your out for the day, doesn’t even have to be shopping just going out in general, maybe am just being a father that wants to keep them wrapped up in cotton wool and needs to just relax and destress when out of my norm, or the over protective father and that’s why they ain’t listening to a word I say either way I think time will tell, but in the mean time I can’t change and don’t know how to, is it so hard to get these things right so that shopping days out can be more enjoyable with the little ones if so am up for suggestions as I know the Mrs gets annoyed with me moaning and groaning at them all the time, but it’s just me…….

How’s your shopping experiences with your little ones?

How do you set yourself up for it?

Any tips or advice?

Thanks for reading

Darren x

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