NO MEANS NO!!

ladies & gents 

I would kill for the woman in my life, would you?

 

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I’m sure we have all heard by now the story this past week about the young woman who was asking for it due to what she was wearing and the culprit let off….

Me personally i have read and heard a lot on this, this past week and i can’t keep quiet anymore…

So i’m assuming this goes out to all the lowlife men & woman of this world who seem to think they can and will get away with anything, well am here to tell you that ain’t the case you can’t and you definitely shouldn’t.

Ladies & gents we are not all brought up the same way, some of us where brought up right, to respect people and there choices in life, NO matter what!! Others well they must have just been dragged up i suppose….

If i do anything right in my life it will be to teach my daughter that if she says NO to any man/woman they understand exactly what she means, and understands that there is evil out there and that not everyone is the same, but i will teach her how to respect others as well, and that she does have a say and a choice in any decision she makes in life, am not saying am perfect by no means, but i know what the word NO means!

But that choice isn’t just for my daughter it’s for every man/woman/boy/girl, as we all should be allowed to wear what we want, do what we want and go where we want without these predators taking advantage and thinking they can get away with it!!

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I mean we ain’t living in the olden days no more people, we are in the 21st century and everyone has a voice and choice on how they want to live there lives, why should these individuals divine how we live, why should they leave tears and scars to people they just assumed they can touch or take what isn’t there’s to begin with!!

These individuals aren’t there to help piece back the brokenness of the life they have just destroyed, they are walking about thinking they have done nothing wrong because we were asking for it….

I just hope that the generation we are raising is a much better and safer one that we have now and they all understand what NO means……

 

 

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SCHOOL & NURSERY

so that’s the 1st full week done at school and nursery, well when i say full week i mean half days for the little big boy and full days for the little man,

it was a tad strange this week as i have been so used to having the 3 little ones running around and hanging of some sort of body part of mines for so long i just don’t think i was in the right mind set for our babies to go off on there next venture just yet, but i suppose from next week we should feel it a lot more, with it being full days all week for everyone, and look forward to the new projects, the new friends/old the pretty hectic social calendar and the dreaded homework starting again which by the way already has…… i mean aren’t they meant to break them in gently and that’s the reasons for those half days right……

 

 

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the look of sheer excitement

well for the oldest they have had a blast and settled right in like they have never been away, but we didn’t have any concerns regarding them anyways as didn’t think them going back was going to have any issues anyhow, where as the little dudes they seem to have taken to nursery and school life like a duck does to water….

i was the worrier as i had to phone to make sure they had settled in and that there was no problems as in my head i expected a call at some point in the morning to say oh am sorry but they just aren’t settling at all, but oh how they liked to prove there folks wrong eh…

 

its quite manic for any family in the morning during the week as we get up get ready and get organised for the day ahead, returning to school and nursery this time around just got even more crazy as we have to get the oldest two to there school which is roughly 8/9 miles from home as we didn’t move them from school when we moved, as they had already settled and made there friends where as now we have Noah to get ready to go to the school which is about a mile up the road in the next town, which he gets the school transport from the the bus stop in our village, to begin with he wasn’t sure but i reckon since his cousin who stays in the village and a few of his friends that hes made due to his brothers hes been okay, then there is Rory who has been giving a full time slot in nursery at the school about 5 miles from home were his big brother went last term, and has to be there all at the same time, but somehow we manage and to be honest its not like its going to be like this forever is it?……

and that folks is just the getting to school….

its not somewhat going to be as easy for getting them home as i/we have to be in 3 different places at the same time, well 2 to be fair as Noah would just go with his cousin until i/we got home, we shall see how this pans out next week when the full days are in full flow for the boys, but knowing us it will all be a walk in the park and have nothing to worry about right?…..or is there something going to go tits up and we are going to be the worst parents ever?…………. nope i very much doubt that will be the case as everyone who knows us know that our kids are everything to us and will always be there for them no matter what, we as parents we do the best we can to make sure our child/children get the best opportunities to have a good education and do what needs to be done to fill that for them, if that means they are happy surely that counts for something…….

until next time

thank you

Darren xo

Let’s talk bedtime routines

Hi again folks and welcome back,

How does your bedtime routine work for you? Does it work? Are you happy with the way it goes? What would you do to change it?

Well these are just a few of the things I have been asked and yous probably have aswell, but it’s difficult to stick to a proper routine especially in holidays and on a holiday, and dependable on home circumstances, I for one try to stick to a routine when it’s just me lone parenting at bed times (yeah am the tough one) as I know if I get them down between 7pm and 8.30pm I get at least 2 hours to myself to just chill and recharge, which most of us take for granted but in that time I can have a relaxing bath a shower and even have one ran for the Mrs getting home from a long day at work, and if I haven’t eating then that’s my tea time, I would normally take the two little ones up to bed get them settled and leave the older ones to watch a film in there beds and they would just fall themselves, it’s difficult as every routine is different and especially from birth as that changes all the time, but under no way think your doing it wrong or something isn’t right it just depends on what suits yous, this is just my routine!

Yes it works but the only time I feel it harder is when say the little ones have a nap after 2pm which I try and cut out now and find things to do with them, keeps them awake and happy and refreshed away from the actual feeling of wanting a nap, as I know if they were to have one after this time it makes it more difficult to stick to the bedtime routine, as they aren’t sleepy or tired they are full of energy,

In a few weeks I expect it to change again when there’s only going to be our daughter left at home since the schools are back and the little man goes to nursery I don’t know what to expect but am hoping that the days had at school and nursery will have been so exciting that they only want to tell us about it and feel more excited that they don’t have the time to danger nap and least that way the weekends will then be our fundays,

If I could do anything to change it…..nope nothing as it works for us most of the time and that considered I know our kids are happy and go to bed happy with what they have done that day of they weren’t I’d hope they would say but goodnight I love you I will take that every night…

Hope yous enjoyed and if you have anything you would like to discuss you know what to do and feel free to let me know about your routines if you have any…

Thanks

Darren x

What came next

Hi folks just little old me again

 

It’s been a little while since I’ve wrote anything on here as I’ve been getting myself back to normality after what had happened,

So here’s a little update for yous I’ve been keeping myself busy with the kids these last few weeks and obviously getting myself back up to how I should be feeling, the help and support network I have has been brilliant and if I didn’t have it I think I would still be dwelling on what could have been, anyways enough on that!

The kids have been enjoying the summer holidays and going on some little adventures and making new memories and helping with our new venture which is a football session for anyone in the village that wants to take part in keeping fit, learning the skills, showing what you have and best of all getting outdoors,

 

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As a lot of us parents know it’s technology that takes over our kids lives usually so we wanted to do this so we can break the norm and at least get out and have fun and learn for a few hours a couple days a week, so that’s what we’re doing and me personally am looking forward to it so much as it was my biggest passion when I was younger and still is to be honest, but I still get quality dad time with the kids as well as sharing with others, and it keeps my mind preoccupied which also helps me, we still have a good few weeks of the holidays left and still plenty time to squeeze in alot more am just no sure am ready for them to be over, as I will lose another one of my sidekicks as our baby boy starts nursery, I mean cmon how’s that happen so quickly, so will just be our little princess left at home,

 

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But am sure she will fill our days with glitz and glamour and anything else she would like to do, but that’s for another day,

So as you can see rehabilitation is going well and filling our days with lots of fun and happiness and everything in-between but I still am truly greatful for everything and always will be but the best part of my rehabilitation is being around everyone of these little ones everyday, and seeing them reach for the stars in everything they do, don’t ever let a dark day cloud your life just open it and let it shine bright and never take anything for granted, until next time

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Thank you everyone for all the support and love

 

Darren x

A day that changed my life!

I will never take another minute for granted…..

Four weeks ago was a normal day with the kids, enjoying our daily doings and spending time with the family and watching on as the kids made more happy memories, that was until the wind got knocked right out of me boom just like I was on my knees gasping for breath and my head felt like it had just exploded, whilst all the time our brave little boy was standing beside me in our livingroom trying to understand what had just happened to his daddy, he did however manage to get his mummy on the phone and get daddy the help he needed…..

At this point I didn’t even know what help I needed I just knew something wasn’t right and just like that I was having paramedics asking questions, taking my obs and putting me in the back of an ambulance, I’ll tell you this for sure I am grateful and will never take help for granted ever again, I had severe shakes from being hot and cold, tightnings in my chest and a headache that felt it had just been used as Mike Tyson’s sparring partner, if I hadn’t went to the hospital and stayed where I was like i wanted to but as per the Mrs always makes me see sence i would never have known what I was greeted with eventually.. as I arrived in the busy a&e department at our local hospital, no one seemed to know what was wrong with me and I can’t imagine how my Mrs was feeling with no one giving us any answers, so more tests a few scans one of my chest and one of my head and then boom you have had a bleed in your brain so now we need to do more tests and they didn’t help so transferred to the capital as they have neurologist that are trained to deal with the care I needed…

I underwent a lumber pucture and a diagnostic angiogram to still reveal no source of where the bleed had even came from, I was attached to drips popping pills and told to drink at least 3ltrs of fluids per day, I felt drained physically and mentally but still knew I had to be strong for my Mrs and the kids, the only time I didn’t/don’t is when am on my own as I started noticing afterwards as my speech became stuttery, my balance became shakey and my ability to cope being in social situations became difficult…

So now I am on a pacing order but as you all know with kids that ain’t possible as you can’t do little often, you can’t rest during the day, and you just have to do what you can to make sure you make it through that day knowing they have smiles and memories to sleep on….

I still have no idea how this happened to me or why, I am however grateful for my life and the fact I get to spend everyday with my loved ones, and will always take each day with both hands, I have a lengthy spell of rehabilitation still to come apparently but I have accepted all the help and advice that’s been giving to me as I plan on being the person that my family needs, so now no matter what I will always say when am not well and I will always ask for help when needed…..

Thanks for reading

Till next time…..

Darren x

No advice/No steps

Hi again folks,

Someone once told me that when you leave school your life just flys in especially when you throw children into the mix… but when your a teenager you think the adults in your life are just saying stuff to scare you into thinking these mad and wild thoughts, but omg how right where they….

Blink and you miss it, I am greatful for many things in my life but my children are the greatest and precious thing ever, Someone asked me not so long ago what if any is the best advice you can give for being a stay at home dad, well to be honest there isn’t ANY, I have a great support network at home maily the other half and being round the kids daily is never the same from one day to the next, I could have a house full of children and don’t know how I don’t fall over as apparently iam so laid back it’s unreal, but sorry it is real and I wouldn’t and couldn’t change it for anything, I get to see them and be with them from there eyes opening in the morning till there eyes are closing at bed time….

I used to wish I was more like some other dads at times and be able to go here there and everywhere, but then I get to enjoy what my kids want to do instead of them putting up with my daily choices which might not be what they want to do, so I listen and ask them as they are all at different ages it has to have compromises but then they are usually happy with what they choose to do, I think my biggest downfall is scheduling anything in that puts me out of sorts as I try to keep a routine but times it’s difficult and I need to learn to just go with the flow at times, your children have one life so make sure they live it to there full potential and enjoy every single moment of it….

Basically there is nothing I can say to anyone who is thinking of being a stay at home dad as there is no steps, no tips no tricks all there is is you the MAN, THE PARTNER, THE HUSBAND, THE FATHER just be yourself and let the kids learn from the things you do and make your own memories and stay true to yourself as time does go by so quickly you just never know what’s around the corner…..

Until next time enjoy

Darren x

Anxiety shopping

Shopping with the little ones is becoming a nightmare just now, gone are the days that we actually looked forward to going out for the day and coming home when we felt our feet and body couldn’t take anymore…

I know as a parent we expect these things but for some unknown reason it infuriates me, not the Mrs just me, I feel that there is no talking to the boys when we go out and all they want to do is run off, touch stuff and throw themselves about, making a scene and then you get the looks for passerbys, shit he needs to get his children under control, the thing is they are….I know when I was younger I hated going shopping with the parents unless there was something in it for me, but hey didn’t we all..

My biggest worry about being out is the fact that over a year ago our son wondered off with complete strangers and if it wasn’t for his mummy who knows what the outcome would have been, i dread to think about it but every time since I always need to know where he is and want him next to us at all times and if that causes world war three in the aisle of a shop or in the packed shopping centre then so be it, I know we’re my son is…..

But it has to get better though and more enjoyable surely but without the fear of anything happening to your child when your out for the day, doesn’t even have to be shopping just going out in general, maybe am just being a father that wants to keep them wrapped up in cotton wool and needs to just relax and destress when out of my norm, or the over protective father and that’s why they ain’t listening to a word I say either way I think time will tell, but in the mean time I can’t change and don’t know how to, is it so hard to get these things right so that shopping days out can be more enjoyable with the little ones if so am up for suggestions as I know the Mrs gets annoyed with me moaning and groaning at them all the time, but it’s just me…….

How’s your shopping experiences with your little ones?

How do you set yourself up for it?

Any tips or advice?

Thanks for reading

Darren x

Home is where you are happy

Hi folks i really didnt know where to go after my 1st blog post, but here I am back again to give yous another little insight into my life…..

So a few years ago we decided to move to a small village and since then it has been one of the best moves we have made as a family, I mean we get to wake up to sea views everyday and yeah it’s chilly by the sea but when it’s nice it’s really nice, the kids are happy and enjoying life as they get to be children and everyone knows who/who is, all be that there isn’t much here so we have to make do with what we do have, a park a coastal path, woodland and plenty fresh air and a beach on our doorstep, now for me there is no where else I would rather be to bring up our children as I love seeing them grow and cherish what they have….

We love going on our walks and taking molly (our jack russell) and exploring and seeing the cows, sheep and horses as the little ones are fascinated with them, and it’s great to see them appreciate the small things in life, as growing up myself we didn’t have that living in a town but obviously back then there wasn’t as much technology so we found things to do and made the most of it, and that’s exactly what we do now and it’s the best feeling in the world and yeah there are days we have to find things to do in home so we use our imagination and make the most of it, so whether that be playing, learning, baking or even just cozy time and a film this is the life….

Is there anything I would change? No I wouldn’t change a thing…

Where if you had the chance would you stay? And why?

If you stay in a small village what keeps you going? What things do you do?

Hopefully this doesn’t bore yous all that much and hopefully yous enjoy and again any feedback is welcome,

Thank you

Darren 👍

A father 5 times over

Hi all this my 1st of many I hope, my name is Darren and I have four gorgeous little boys from the age of 9-2 and my beautiful daughter who’s 1…

MY WORLD

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becoming a father for the 1st time is crazy and you have all these thoughts and emotions running through your mind at the same time but let me put it straight to you it’s the best felling you will ever have in your life…I managed it five times!! I wasnt always a stay at home dad though but times and things changed and after the birth of our daughter I took upon this role and to be honest it’s absolutely amazing, you get to enjoy every little thing from the moment they wake up till the moment they go to bed, sometimes the hardest thing is deciding what to do for the day especially at weekends, as obviously all different ages and into totally different things, but you get up get on with it and split yourself into as many pieces as you can to share the day with them all, the one thing we do all like doing is going on walks and exploring what’s around us and enjoying the beautiful and small things in life which to me is FAMILY TIME

SMILES

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I know in this day and age we are supposed to set an example for our children but my moto is if they are happy then so are we, even though our hardest days are when MUM’S AT WORK ALL DAY as the kids are always asking when mum’s home, and i know my missus feels it to as she hates missing the little things that happen, hence why i am always taking snapshots of there life so not a thing is missed and i know its not the same as being there but its the best you can do to make them still feel part of whats happened or been done…. there’s a ton of things I can write but am not going to bore yous all with that at the moment I just wanted to introduce my family to you and let you know that your doing a great job no matter how hard times get and no matter how many children you have just getting that little hug, or kiss or even a smile is enough to let you know your doing a great job as a PARENT!

My advice to father’s that are in this situation is do what you feel you have to and don’t let any one sway you if you have already thought of becoming the man who has to stay at home for whatever the reason do it and don’t look back and capture every moment like it’s your last, my plan in life wasn’t this but there comes challenges and decisions in life that as a family you have to do what’s best for all and my story is what’s best for my family

So basically don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t be a stay at home DAD it should be the MUM’S that do that well no infact it’s what works best for yous as a unit a family and a happy home!

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

HAVE YOU HAD ANY BAD EXPERIENCES?

Feel free to leave any feedback in the comments section

And last but not least thank you for taking the time to read this

Darren 👍

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